Christian dating atheist advice

Hi Joe, thanks for your kind response. Her faith is in no way diminished for marrying me nor do I stand in her way in her faith journey. I do however accompany her to church one in a while. Despite our faith differences the love and the marital bond is there every bit as if we believed the same. I hear your pain, Melina! The waiting can be very, very hard. But let me exhort you to not lower your standards.

Our highest purpose in life is not to be a wife and mother. The highest purpose we can ever hope to achieve is to serve God faithfully where He has us regardless of our circumstances.

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I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me. There is indeed a loneliness that far surpasses what you may be experiencing now.


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Not being one in spirit with your mate is devastatingly lonely. The only One who can fill the void you feel in your life is Jesus Christ. Run to Him, Melina! Pour out your heart, your dreams and your desires to Him and then surrender them all to Him choosing to entrust your heart and your future to Him.

Then I challenge you to look around you. Where can you serve Him with all your heart as you wait for Him to reveal the plan He has for you? Will you pour your life into the lives of others? In doing this you will begin to live your life with an eternal focus rather than a focus on the here and now.

Stay in the Word, my friend. It will keep you anchored to the heart of God! Thank you for your kind response. I am trying to pour myslef into helping others but its so hard with this burden in my heart. I wish I understood what you mean about Jesus filling the void in my heart. I really wish I did, because I am already a Christian, and have been for over 20 years. But thank you for your response I am hoping that Jesus will have mercy on me soon. I think this issue is between me and Him. But I wanted to put this question out there because the Church seems to avoid the anguish and pain than people experience on a daily basis.

I wish these complex topics were highlighted more often. Yes, Melina, I do think this may be an issue between you and God. It may be an issue of trust and of surrender. We know that God has the ability to bring you a godly spouse, Melina. He loves you far more than you can imagine. He always has your best at the center of His love for you. While choosing to follow your own heart and choose outside of His will may seem the only way for you, it will bring far more grief and pain than you are experiencing now.

Having the support of an older godly woman in your life would be a blessing to you. Would you pray about who to speak to about your situation and the pain you carry? She could encourage you, pray for you, keep you pointed to Christ. Perhaps you can join together with some other women and do a Bible study so that your emotions are kept in line with Scripture. As I was praying today, these broadcasts from Revive Our Hearts came to my mind. Would you take time to listen and pray through this? How to Control Runaway Emotions: Some girls meet blossoming oak trees of men, deeply rooted in strong and unbreakable faith.

To some of us, thought, we are given the seeds that we must plant. As a young Christian woman who is strong in my faith, I of course imagined myself with a man who also loves the Lord. Raised a Christian but intelligent and analytical to a fault, he has chosen for now to side with science and be an agnostic.

I pray for him and will openly talk about spirituality. We cannot see the bigger picture, we do not know His plans. I believe my boyfriend is someone God put in my life, made for me, and only I can know that. There are Christian men that lie and cheat as well as nonbelievers who are devoted and loyal. A Godly woman is strong enough to keep a relationship on the right path and with Him I choose to have faith in His plan not doubt.

How sad would it be if He chose to give up on us if we strayed…I will not do that to the boy I love and share my life with. Our hearts are deceitful above all things Jer. Our emotions cannot lead our decisions because they will lead us down a path that God may not have for us. God does search our hearts and He does not want anyone to perish and all to come to repentance 2 Pet. He does love your boyfriend and wants him to return to Christ in repentance and salvation.

When we marry, we become one with our mates and that is not just physically but also emotionally and spiritually. God designed marriage to be a visible reminder of the pure love that Christ has for the church. He has a much bigger plan for our marriages than we can ever even imagine.

It is important to remember that God will never lead us to do something that He specifically tells us in the Bible not to do. He specifically says in 2Corinthians 6: For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? Is it okay to date non-Christians? That verse is way too vague and is not necessarily talking about marriage or dating. We are never truly equally yoked, one person is usually just a better Christian, smarter, kinder, etc.

You must realize that the data show there are far more Christian women than Christian men. What do you propose the left out women do? Given that studies tell us mixed faith relationships can and do result in successful and loving marriages I think the answer is easy. There are many factors that make for a happy and fulfilled marriage that are far more important than religious belief. Surely common sense dictates your choice of who to spend the rest of your life with weighs heavily in favour of the atheist.

The title of the website is ironic when you see that, really, the author has just traded one lie for another. This post is full of innaccuracies. At least, not a healthy one. Personally, I believe such a relationship would be a living nightmare for the Atheist in general. That being said, saying that Atheists hate the idea of there being a god is just false generalization. This is exactly why I hate Religion. Because god is the equivalent of santa clause to kids. The difference is kids eventually grow out of the santa clause belief where as adults cling to their beliefs likely out of comfort or fear.

The Author is nothing but another brain washed fool.. How can you really say about athiests like that.. You need to grow up even as a human first.. How about eat something healthy.. Religions are just trademarking for customer fools like some people i saw here.. Try to live as human.. Mom was an atheist and dad a Christian.

They were married for over 56 years and never had an argument about their differences. They gave us the full experience of education without bias…science and Catechism and allowed us the freedom of their love with any choice we might make. They adored each other. FYI two kids…one agnostic and one atheist. We have only discussed this once, but did not argue about it.

Christianity is about the most selfish hateful divisive an destructive force on Earth.


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Im sorry for all of you. God is supposed to have his children love unconditionally and lead happy lives. This is just blasphemous. Not all atheists hate the fact that people believe in god. If the man this girl is falling for does not share her faith now, then God possibly has someone else for her. Thank you very much for your wise words. This is a great reminder that God has someone planned for my life and I am to give my heart to Him while He writes my love story.

I know that if the man God has planned for me is an atheist right now, that God will change His heart before our love story begins. I know that dating is not a missions field and when I try to interweave my life with a unbeliever, I will be the one dragged down into sin and destruction. If I truly feel that God has this person planned for me, I have faith to know that He will change their heart before I even have to worry. He loves me so much more than any man ever will; even if he is a Christian man.

I am praying for all my dear sisters who are currently dealing with this. I love you all, and more importantly, He loves you. Just hand Him the pen. What kind of God would advocate that?? The intimacy we can know with another human here and now is nothing compared to the intimacy we will know with the One we were ultimately created for.

This is some real crap. I will admit that his religion interferes greatly with a few things such as him having to wait until marriage for sex, while I would be fine doing it anytime if he asked but I love him enough to look past it all and just deal with it. He loves me enough to look past my disbelief in his religion.

I still go to his church events, even though I think every word is a lie, because I value our relationship more that my beliefs or lack thereof. Do you not think that atheists do not have feelings too. Imagine finding out that your husband has been faking his Christianity after 8 years just so that he could share his life with the one and only person that he can be himself with in every aspect except one. You do what you feel is right. I am a Christian was saved when I was 15 raised in a super conservative household, Baptist church and Baptist private school.

I still appreciate my back ground, even if it seems strict to others. I been married to a atheist for 7 years now, we have children too. I miss him when he goes to work, I never been so happy then the day I knew I loved him led to many more happy days. He is supportive of my love for God, though yes he does not himself believe He does not tell my kids not to believe in God or speak badly about God around us.

Paula the evil that you are spreading is one of the most disgusting thing I have ever seen to come crawling out of a person and across the earth. You clearly have been blinded by hate and sin. It is because of people like you and crap like this that you write that turns people away from christianity and our God. The world is soaked with hate and distrust because of evil. Articles like this are the work of the devil. Your hate and fear and misunderstanding of atheists is the blind ambition that evil uses to draw people father and farther from christ.

You know nothing of gods plans for this couple or any couple for that matter. You have no more right to judge people than a worm crawling through the mud. If I had listed to people like you who spew bile at things they do not know of or understand, I would of been robbed of the happiest moments of my life. I am writing angry, which explains my insults towards you but but you have misspoke using our Lord and the scripture, based out of your ignorance.

I will pray for you and this couple. Do not let evil drive you Paula. Paula Marsteller Comments Print. An atheist and a Christian are not compatible. How do I know this? I encourage you to: Tell an older, godly woman about your struggle. Be completely honest with her, and ask her to help hold you accountable. Break off your relationship with this guy. Stop dancing with him. Pursue Jesus through His Word.

Get to know Him. Learn to enjoy Him the way He delights in you. Praying for you, Paula. We may edit or remove your comment if it: February 24, at 2: Thank you for speaking the truth to young women all women , Paula. February 24, at 3: February 28, at 1: February 24, at 5: February 24, at 6: February 24, at 7: February 25, at 1: February 27, at 4: February 27, at 6: February 27, at 8: February 27, at 9: February 27, at February 28, at 2: February 28, at 3: February 28, at 5: February 28, at 7: March 2, at 1: March 2, at 5: Becca praying for you!

Keep up the good work, seeking Him online and off. February 24, at 8: Thanks for stopping by and sharing, paula. February 24, at February 24, at 9: This is a good thing for us girls to think! February 25, at 2: February 25, at 5: February 25, at 6: Mostly, keep pursuing Him wholeheartedly, and may He satisfy you every morning with His love.

February 25, at February 26, at 3: February 26, at 8: February 26, at 7: March 5, at 4: March 3, at 4: March 4, at 5: March 5, at 1: Dear Nikki, Thanks for sharing your story. March 4, at 2: March 4, at 9: Hope this helps, paula. March 6, at 1: You know people lie to get what they want from someone…right? April 6, at 6: March 5, at 8: January 22, at 6: February 10, at 7: March 9, at 2: Lorree Revive Our Hearts.

March 11, at 4: March 13, at 2: March 13, at 7: March 15, at 6: March 15, at Thank you so much!!! And have a blessed and fruitful Sunday!!! Sarah Revive Our Hearts. March 17, at 3: April 6, at 5: March 19, at But praying the same words in the same order, or reading the same sacred book through and through again, or singing the same songs are not necessarily a gateway to a meaningful connection. Each journey of faith is unique and personal. No two believers are alike. And, as anyone in any relationship will tell you, no two people are alike. Everyone has their own views, opinions and convictions, regardless of their chosen religion or lack of one.

Some relationships are interfaith, but all relationships are inter-belief. What is that necessary and sufficient factor? We have found that it is far more important to share the same values than the same religion. It is true that some values are associated more closely with certain religion affiliations. But values do not just take root inside a person as a result of their religion, of how they have chosen to describe or name or worship God.

We choose our values because of myriad factors: Our values shape us, as our journeys through life — and our journeys through faith — play out. In faith, as in love, we leap. We whisper holy words, words that hold power, maybe magic. We pilgrimage across whatever distances necessary. We experience the ineffable.

We understand the unexplainable. We sense in an instant a familiarity, a knowing. We get over and outside of ourselves to connect with something so much bigger. When required, we willingly suffer in the name of this sacred union. Sometimes, thank God, we fall in love. Because, sometimes, we find a person who helps us with our blind spots, who helps us glimpse a little more of the divine than we would have on our own. But there are always crazy people out there: The occasional old lady will tut about how I don't pour tea or do any of the traditional 'priest wife' stuff, but that's more of a generational issue than anything.

Honest question - does your husband believe you two will be together in the afterlife? If not, how does he deal with that? Not OP, but I'd point out that Jesus specifically says that marriage does not persist through the afterlife Mark That's bringing up a fascinating visual, like he took a bowl of egg yolks but only poured it on his left side, and this is somehow a problem whereas completely saturating himself would not be.

Could you elaborate on what that phrase actually means? Yoked not yolked, lol refers to the wooden crossbar that holds oxen together as they are pulling or cart or something. Shes probably refering to the verse 2 Corinthians 6: For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?

What harmony is there between Christ and Belialb? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you. I had no idea what it meant either! There's some passage about unevenly yoking yourself with nonbelievers in the bible.

I guess like you yoke oxen together? I think it means "don't marry an atheist". Actually, as early as the old testament it is commanded that men are the ones that prepare coffee and tea. Many times it is stated "Hebrews" not "Shebrews". The more you know! Roman Catholic priests don't. Some Catholic monks do eat meat, I guess it depends on the order they're part of, as there are a few different ones.

I am a Christian and married to an atheist. He grew up in a Christian family and didn't tell me that he didn't believe in God until the night before our wedding. Our differences are rarely a source of conflict within our marriage I am very active in my church, attend every Sunday, teach Sunday School, etc.

Sometimes I see other couples at church and wish he was there with me, but in general I try to remember that it's healthy for people in a relationship to have separate interests. He never complains about the money I give to the church or Christian charities, nor about the time I spend working on church projects. My church is part of the ELCA, focused on love, charity, and acceptance, and he says that he sees its value as an institution even though he doesn't subscribe to the underlying doctrine.

If I were part of a fundamentalist right-wing church, I don't think he'd tolerate any of that We have kids and it has always been understood that they will go to church with me until they are old enough to make their own choices. My son is 13 now. He has his doubts and I expect he'lll probably end up following in his father's footsteps. But I can accept that, since, despite his beliefs, my husband is more Christ-like than many who call themselves Christian. Oh how I love this. When I first started dating my atheist boyfriend now of 2 years, with marriage as a possibility in the future some of my friends didn't even give us a chance.

It was wrong for me to be with this godless man, and I let it get to me. But then one day it was like "Well wth?? He's way more Christ like than any of the Christian men I dated! I think it can be easy to blow things out of proportion with how Christians can be sensationalised in the media. My wife believes in God, I'm atheist. Her family all go to church etc, but she doesn't. As she isn't really a "Practicing Christian", religion doesn't really make a difference in our lives, and it's not something we really talk about. When we first got together and she mentioned her belief in God, we talked about it for a bit then realised neither of us will change our minds so we just don't bother now.

I'm in a similar situation - question? How would you feel if she pushed for them to be brought up Christian? I'm with you, wife is Lutheran I'm atheist. We don't have any arguments about it, but we do make deals. You want to get married in a church, I want x, you want to splash out kids head w water I get y. Because I don't believe in any of it I have no problem w baptism or having an old guy wave his hands while I kiss my wife.

As for schooling I would prefer to send my kids to Catholic school I did 12 yrs because my best friends are people I hung out with when I was 8 and I would not want to take that opportunity away from my kids. My philosophy is if it's not real then it really doesn't matter and I'm not spending my real time arguing about something as objective as the kabbalah monster.

Yes they would, but Catholic schools have fundraisers and church functions that allow bonding outside of class.

Should Atheists or Agnostics Date Christian Women?

Everything is done together. I'm almost 30 and regularly see my grade school friends, some of which are still religious and some who aren't. However the school I went to is home to a lot of families who have known each other for multiple generations and who look out for each other.

I view the Catholic church and school system as churches were originally founded for, organizing communities. And I intend to use these as such. And what do you feel about things like sex-ed in Catholic schools, that's the main problem I have with them. I will be the one teaching my kids about that stuff as well as to use reason. There's a difference between not believing and hating them. I don't hate religion I see it as a tool that can be used for good, some of the best charities are faith based and do great work. I'm an atheist married to a Christian. We met through mutual friends. Religion doesn't really come up much in our day-to-day.

We did get in a fight recently over evolution. She said she didn't believe in it. After arguing awhile I determined that she just doesn't want to believe that humans come from evolution, though she believes in evolution otherwise. The argument was never really resolved, but it's not the kind of thing I'd break up our marriage over. I think she's wrong, but I can accept her in spite of it. Our marriage is great otherwise. Catholics aren't the only Christians out there.

Catholics seem to have a pretty good track record when it comes to evolution at least and most not all other scientific topics. Here in the US, I tend to see issues with certain Protestant denominations that you tend to find more in the south and some areas of the Midwest. In areas of the upper Midwest where I'm from, folks like Lutherans, etc. You can often hear about Baptists being in the anti-science crowd across the country a bit more, but I'm betting that could be variable too.

Lutheran as well, but I don't believe in squares. Only rectangles can exist. Better start a new synod. It's a common British term to mean 'a long time'. I think it's something to do with 'donkey's years'? Slang for a measurement of time, meaning ages. I dunno, but popular in Australia. My GF is the same way. She believes humans must be divinely inspired. For everything else, pure evolution is ok. It doesn't make a lot of sense to me, but what are you gonna do?

It doesn't affect how we live our lives. Idk how you deal with that. The problem for me isn't fact that she doesn't believe in evolution, specifically. It's that she can review the mountains of scientific data and research pointing towards the validity of evolution and be like "nope". I guess a moderate amount of intelligence and a dynamic outlook are two important values for me when it comes to relationships. That's what drives me crazy about it. Decades, even centuries, of objective scientific research, exploration and discovery and she's just going to dismiss it.

Man that would be a deal breaker for me personally but I would also try to find out about that prior to marriage. There is such overwhelming evidence for evolution it makes one wonder what else one would choose to believe in the face of overwhelming evidence.

Good that you guys can manage things though. I wouldn't be able to deal with that. It takes a whole lot of willful ignorance to uphold that shit, and I lose respect for someone who holds onto it dearly. That's funny because "willful ignorance" was the exact phrase I used during our argument. Obviously, it didn't go over so well with her. That's not exactly surprising, is it? You don't say "wilful ignorance" outright and expect a fantastic result.

It's hard to argue my point with this issue and not be a little condescending and judgmental. I'm never sure how to phrase it to be convincing and persuasive. Explaining to someone that they are being stupid is almost impossible to do without offending them. So is trying to use logic and reason to get someone out of a viewpoint they didn't use logic and reason to get into.

I'm not so sure it's willful ignorance. Some believe in micro not macro, some like myself believe God created everything, but he did so in a way so that if we looked backwards we can see the process. He created a complete Earth, but if you were to try to reverse engineer the process, you could see what happened, i. Being religious doesn't make you ignorant or idiotic. Just pointing out that macroevolution is just micro on a longer timescale, so believing in one specifically makes little sense, unless you subscribe to the idea that the earth is 6, years old, but even then that's not enough time for even microevolution to take place.

This isn't exactly true, there's a lot of microevolution that happens in human-observable time scales. Think of, for instance, pesticide resistance. Out of curiosity what God do you believe in? Do you believe he created the Universe or just plonked Earth randomly? I think the problem for a lot of people is that many people that holds these opinions on evolution have very little actual understand of what evolutionary theory states, what research has been done and what evidence there is, and just have a poor understanding of the science and the process in general and so cannot really come to a well reasoned opinion on the subject.

They just go with what fits into their already held beliefs because it's less work and more comfortable.

An Atheist and a Christian: A Love Story

It's one thing to debate the igniter of such things God or nature. That has to do with epistemological limitations of humankind. It's another to actually state that the process itself is bunk when it's one of the scientific theories with the most evidence. It's certainly possible that a god created the earth to in its present state, then planted all this evidence to make it appear to be very old.

But you literally have zero evidence to support such a theory. It's not even something you can glean from the bible. I can understand why you might want it to be true. But at this point, you can go and make up any fantastical but untestable claim you like, and it will be just as plausible as this one. I just married 1 week ago today a lovely Christian woman, despite being a lifelong atheist myself. We had several discussions about the role religion or the lack thereof plays in our lives and outlook, and the TL;DR version is that we have very similar values despite coming to those values from different beliefs.

I've seen the way her sister and brother raise their kids and I will absolutely look to them as role models when we become parents ourselves. The strangest part of this for me has been going to church with her, on rare occasions. I've never felt comfortable in a church because I know I'm an outsider. The first few times I came along were very awkward for me but as I got to know the people in her congregation it got easier and easier.

I’m Falling in Love with an Atheist

They are by and large good people who accept me even though they know I don't identify as Christian. It helps that her church is not one of the "fire and brimstone" types but one that focuses on Jesus' message of peace and love. I don't feel any pressure to convert and I probably never will. I don't care if my kids grow up to be Christians or atheists, as long as they grow up to be kind and respectful towards others. I guess it's time to share our story.

We met at a bar I don't drink and she was drinking very little. I told her that night I was a social liberal and an atheist. She still gave me her number. I didn't find out until date 3 that she was a Christian republican. It hasn't been an issue. There were some slight hiccups, nothing we couldn't work through.

And I think they've made our relationship stronger. I appreciate a lot of the family values christians exert. She is extremely close to her large family, and her close ties to them was something I found very attractive. I know the basis of that is set in their religious upbringing. And so far her family has been reacted very well to hearing I'm an atheist. That's been a relief. My mother is Protestant and my father is Jewish. My whole family loves her. I came from a diverse upbringing that was centered around the idea of self education.

There was never any disappointment from my family regarding my decision to become an atheist. We both know we are going to spend the rest of our lives together. Instead of being scared or nervous how our separate beliefs will negatively impact our future, we are excited and open to the possibilities it will create. My girlfriend is a practicing Muslim and I imagine my situation is very similar. At the end of the day not that big of a deal. In fact it's refreshing to be with someone who has a different perspective or background than you.

What really matters is if your core values line up like how to raise kids, money, careers, etc. She wants to raise the kids with a moderate level of Islamic practice and I hardly thought twice when she brought it up. Not a big deal. I dated a Muslim once! She knew I was an atheist and seemed to be okay with it, but then a month into the relationship, she started talking seriously about the possibility of me converting.

What happens when you fall in love across the religious divide? | Life and style | The Guardian

I'm an atheist who has been married to a Christian for almost two years. We manage by respecting each others views. I don't mock her religion and she doesn't nag me about my lack of one. We both just firmly believe that what goes on in your head isn't anyone else's business. My girlfriend is a mormon and I am atheist. It's helped both of us to understand each other so much more by having civil, casual conversation about it. After a conversation one time she admitted that what I believed sounded reasonable, and to repay the favor and show her that I cared about her views also, I read the Book of Mormon and the writings of Joseph Smith.

Out of curiosity, has she completed the same readings? I don't know if Mormons are required to go through that as part of their education as in some of the other religious traditions; Christians in general seem to not read the Bible in its entirety, though. At the very least, she has probably read the Book of Mormon. The Mormon religion highly encourages daily scripture study, though it is mainly focused on the Book of Mormon. They don't really care if you read the Bible, and the other Joseph Smith writings are somewhat less important, but reading the Book of Mormon is an integral part of their religion.

Since being together, now says he's agonistic edit: He grew up in the same way I did, so we literally have the same religious upbringing. He goes to church sometimes, with or without me, because it makes me happy, which I appreciate. It does make me sad a lot of the time, though, but we both kind of avoid the topic since it does upset both of us. We discussed the hypothetical situation of kids later in life and he said he'd like to raise them Christian since that was his upbringing as well and he loves the way he was raised, but also exposing them to an open-minded education such as evolution, science-y stuff, etc.

He even supports the idea of going to confession with a suitable priest I'm more than okay with that. I don't think someone's going to hell because they believe in evolution or the big bang. I don't think God's so unforgiving as to overlook someone's kindness and warm heart because they question some of the traditional teachings. Being a good person is the most important. Hell, I've even gone from closed minded to open to evolution. Do you fight a lot because of this? We discussed the hypothetical situation of kids later in life and he said he'd like to raise them Christian since that was his upbringing as well and he loves the way he was raised, and exposing them to an open-minded education such as evolution, science-y stuff, etc.